Live-Blogging My Kid’s Birth

Here we go again! Baby Kelly #2 is about to meet the world. I live-blogged my first kid’s birth too. Time to over-share all over again. This time we’re at a new hospital, with a new OB/GYN doctor and the whole works. So far, things are a little better top to bottom, in my entirely unqualified and irrelevant opinion. Let me take you on a journey.

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False Start

My first kid, henceforth to be called “C,” was born 10 days late. There’s some debate over the accuracy of that number, but the doctors tell us she was late. More on that debate later, if I remember to get back to it. Kid #2, henceforth to be called K2 (s/he doesn’t have a [known] gender yet, so s/he therefore doesn’t get a gender-specific pronoun either), is taking after their big sister: late. Boss Lady™ is at 41 weeks today. That means induction.

C had to be induced too, so we were ready for K2’s induction. Boss® had a standard non-stress test this week and the doctor recommended scheduling an induction for Thursday. The plan was to call the hospital at 7am and ask if we should come in. We waited. We called. And they said no. Doctor said they might bump us to Friday. The hospital said no again, and bumped us to Monday. Monday would make K2 10 days late, just like C. We sensed a pattern.

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K2 had other plans.

Last night, we went to bed around 11. Before turning out the light, Boss Lady℠ had the feeling: “we’re not gonna make it ’til Monday.” This was the third time she made such an announcement, so I asked why. Rest assured, future dads: trust her MomSense^{[patent pending]}. So off to bed.

We (read: I) woke up at 6:45am when C yelled at us from upstairs. I dutifully dragged my groggy ass upstairs and got her. Normally Boss-o-nator© gets her up, but all bets are off these days. Stock. Before I had even lifted my head off the pillow, Boss Lady℠ advised that we drop C off with my parents asap. Today would be the day.

I got up and poured bowls of cereal for C and I, as BL™ hopped (hahahaha yea right) into the shower. I got C cleaned up and dressed and headed off to Kelly Manor for the prisoner exchange. Package delivered. Eagle had landed. And other clichés as well.

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Trust the MomSense.

It’s a lot like Spidey Sense, in that it has no real explanation or evidence. It just works. And, like Jordan barked at Turk, I have no lines in this play. So I trust. Turns out MomSense was right.

I had enough time to shower and shave, then we hopped in the car. BL™ is delivering at a new hospital this time, and it’s a little further away than last time—about 20 minutes. I tried not to speed down the highway and we pressed on. That’s where the story turns into a play-by-play. If you’ll indulge me…

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K2 Timeline

As best I can remember them, here are the events of the day.

11:00am

We arrive at hospital and make our way to Labor & Delivery floor. Boss gets hooked up to some machines for a test. They need to figure out if she’s far enough along in labor to admit her for delivery or send us home to wait. We don’t want to leave, of course.

12:00pm

Nurses check Boss’ labor progress & call her doctor who will decide if she’ll be admitted. Doctor says check again in an hour.

12:15pm

Boss and I wander the halls. Moving around helps. We get spoken to about being in the wrong part of the hallway. Oops.

1:00pm

We’re staying! Boss has progressed far enough and the contractions are frequent enough to keep us. YESSS

1:30pm

Boss requests the epidural already, only 2.5 hours after we got here and 30 minutes after they admitted her. That requires 30 minutes of fluids, they tell us. IV inserted by a 3rd year med student from Tufts. She was great.

2:00pm

Anesthesiologist arrives to give the epidural. As usual, I get booted. The obligatory Facebook status goes out to the Baby News list and the overwhelming wave of congratulations and love pours in. Thanks, friends. You’re the best. Meanwhile, I go get some lunch cuz damn.

3:00pm

Contractions coming hard and fast. Things are progressing. They call the doctor. Time to get going here.

4:00pm

Fully dilated. Doctor is 15 minutes away. Hope she gets here in time! At 3pm, I calculated, based on C’s birth, that the remaining dilation progress could take about 5 hours. Turns out it took one. What the hell do I know, anyway?

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Some scenes

Update, 9:30pm: More photos

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Update, 9:45pm: More timeline

Hey, a lot has happened since 4pm! Time for more timeline updates.

4:30pm

The doctor arrives. Pushing begins. I take my place up by Boss’ head cuz I’m all set. They ask me to hold her leg, but with the addition of the third year med student, there’s no room at the inn. I’m only going to do this one or two more times. Med student lady is making a career out of it. I think she needs the practice and like I said: I’m all set. So by Boss’ head I stand.

Yo—my woman is a goddamned champion. She pushed longer and more often than the doctor/nurses required. Start to finish, it was less than an hour for both kids. And, if that weren’t enough, K2 will end up being born 1.3 pounds heavier than C! And BossTown nailed it both times. Sure, she wasn’t exactly giggling while she pushed, but she’s an absolute legend. You gotta know this!

5:15pm

For some reason, the doctors seem to like to wait until the, like, VERY last minute to don their hazmat gear and assume the catcher’s squat. So after 45 minutes of pushing like a champion and enduring intense pain, the doctor has to tell Boss to stop.

What.

She has to stop and wait for you now? C’mon son. Boss is nonplused. I, of course, am too. But the doctor does what the doctor does. And by all accounts, this woman is an outstanding OB. Boss loves her and she’s definitely my favorite of the 6 (yea. 6.) we’ve seen so far. So it is what it is.

5:27pm

This happens:

Except like way, way, WAY messier. It’s like a war zone, dudes. Yowza.

Also they had to pump out her lungs because I guess there was some nasty shwerve all in there. Two special-care-type nurses came in just as K2 was born. They worked on her for a few minutes, couldn’t have been more than 5 minutes, and then they were off. Easy peasy.

6:30pm

After an hour of cleanup and tears of celebration, the dust settled and we had the room to ourselves again—just the three of us. The first wave of phone calls and text messages go out. The introductory Facebook photo goes out. The love, once again, pours in. My parents tell me they’re going to bring C to the hospital tonight—bedtimes be damned.

7:30pm

My folks arrive with C. I grab them in the lobby and lead the way back up to join Boss and K2 (whom I could call CRK now, but we’ll stick with K2 for clarity). Hugs and mazel tovs all around. C did wonderfully meeting, greeting, and even holding her brand new baby sister. Proud papa.

8:00pm

We get booted from the delivery room and are relocated to the mother/baby recovery room. C and my folks come too. The nurses do the obligatory round of checks on both Boss and K2. The rest of us step out during that part. C flirts with all the nurses cuz that’s what she does. All are happy.

8:30pm

C and my folks depart. The 3 of us have the room to ourselves again. All is mostly quiet. I start to do some digital cleanup of photos/videos on my phone. Oh, and I can lie down for the first time. I know my role in this play is very small, but it’s tiring for dads too ya know! </complaint>

9:00pm

K2 latches on again for a late-night snack. Seems like this kid is a champion eater already. This bodes well for Boss and K2 both.

9:45pm

“I peed a lot!” – BossLadyPiece. I’m told that pregnant women, especially in the third trimester, have very small bladder capacity. Therefore, the first pee break post-delivery is, by Boss’ accounts anyway, like the best thing that ever was a thing.

10:00pm

Things are winding down. The nurses took K2 to bathe and measure her. I don’t know when we’ll have her back. For now, Boss is relaxing and bordering on dreamland. I’m finishing this update. It’s quiet all around and things are great. All for now. Goodnight, friends!